Here
Bishop Theophan the Recluse counsels a young woman on arranging her
life.
May the mercy of God be upon
you.
You are still burdened by worldly cares. Tell me, what is
the cause of this? All is well with your life externally; inwardly
you have examined and put things in order, and your decision has
strengthened all this. So what cause is there to be upset? It is all
the devil's work, straight from him. Nothing else.
And what
else could it be? Do not think that you can determine the course of
your life yourself, by your own strength and wisdom, even in
accordance with what has been planned. Think about this, and if there
is even a grain of truth in this, make haste to remedy it. With such
an attitude there will be no end of confusion.
Let us, if you
will, examine or mentally review all that was prescribed and all that
you experienced inwardly, and how finally you came to a decision
concerning your course of life--and direct this examination in such a
way that there will come from it a firm resolve, to give your life
over unconditionally into the hands of God. Then pray fervently,
crying to the Lord from your heart: "I place myself in Thy
hands, O Lord. Direct my life and all that touches upon it as it is
pleasing to Thee. From henceforth I am relinquishing all care for
myself, having only one concern --always to do what is pleasing in
Thy sight." Say it in this way and in very deed commit yourself
entirely into God's hands, being anxious for nothing, peacefully
accepting all situations--whether pleasant or unpleasant-as being
deliberately arranged for you by God. Your only concern must be to
act in all situation s according to God's commandments. For you, this
is the one thing needful.
As soon as you do this, there will
be an end to all your unrest. Now you are concerned about yourself,
and every situation you want to arrange and turn around according to
your good pleasure. When everything doesn't go just so, you get upset
that this isn't right or that's wrong. But when you give everything
over to the Lord and accept all as coming from Him for your benefit,
then you will be free from all earthly cares. You will look around
only to see what lesson the Lord is sending so as to act in
accordance with it. The commandments can be brought to bear on any
situation. Do this and act in accord with the commandments, striving
to please God rather than pushing to satisfy your own self-will.
Think well on what I have said and make it your aim to attain such a
state.
I
pray that the Lord deliver you from that situation which you consider
unpleasant-insofar, I would add, as this is in keeping with God's
will and for your salvation, And He will deliver you--in His good
time, of course. Arm yourself with this faith and have patience. Just
looking at the course of events, we see that they are constantly
changing; nothing lasts. That which troubles you will likewise
change. The days will come when you will breathe freely, and not only
breathe, but like a butterfly flit from one flower to another; you
need only patiently to await the trouble's end. The housewife puts
the pie into the oven and does not remove it from there until she is
sure it is properly baked. The Ruler of the world has placed you into
the oven--and is holding you there, waiting until you are done. Have
patience and wait. As soon as you are baked through, you won't sit
there an extra minute. You will be immediately taken out. If you try
to break loose yourself, you will be like an underdone pie. Arm
yourself with patience. I will add this: according to our faith, he
who graciously endures various trials that come his way, accepting
them as from the hand of the Lord, such a man partakes of
martyrdom.
It is impossible to live without feelings, but to
give oneself over to one's feelings is unlawful. They must be
controlled and given proper direction. You are very impressionable
and your heart rules your head. Act as I have already written you:
first determine under what conditions certain feelings are aroused
and then proceed by guarding yourself from any agitation of the
heart, or by taking a firm hold upon your heart. This requires
practice and with practice one can advance to complete control of
oneself.
But
everything comes from God. And one must run to Him. You write,
however, that you don't pray. That's smart! What did you do, enlist
with the pagans? How can one not pray? Don't just read from the
prayer book --tell Him in your own words what is on your heart, and
ask for help: "Lord, you see what is bothering me--this and
this... I cannot straighten myself out. Help me, O Merciful One !"
And relate all the particulars of your need, asking for help in
accordance with all this. This will be the most genuine prayer. You
can always pray in your own words, not reading the written prayers,
so long as you do not indulge in laziness.
But why do you
listen to him who suggests that you stop praying? Or don't you
realize that it' s the enemy? It' s obviously the enemy. He whispers
into your ear: "Give it up;" and sometimes as though
seizing the body itself, he hurriedly drags it into bed. These are
all his tricks. But he is doing his business, trying to d i s t r a c
t you from what is good. However, we must do our work, not abandoning
it until we have finished. In this way I beg you to arm yourself with
courage, and don't listen to the enemy, and don't pay any attention
to his whisperings. Getting angry at the enemy is even better. He
will immediately flee.
From all my heart I pray that you will
at last be able to calm down.
May the Lord bless you.
...
(Excerpt translated from What Is the Spiritual Life and
How to Attune Oneself to It; Jordanville, 19
)
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